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The Dreaded Tip-Toe of Shame

the tip toe of shame the morning after

Shame on you.   You talked a little too much or a little too loud or in front of the wrong person.   You laughed a little too hard or a little too long or about the wrong person.   You drank a little too much or ate a lot too much because of the wrong person.   But other than a stain on your sleeve, the day ended with no damage.   Whatever you over-did is over-blown in your mind.   You went out by yourself.   Which, my friend, is not a crime. Or a sin. Or even noteworthy to anyone but you.   Everybody woke up where they were supposed to, in the appropriate attire, in the correct order.   You didn’t slink down the street after dawn or become a feast for gossip-hungry nosy-bodies.   You said...

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The Royal Pains Series Finale Was Exactly That: a Royal Pain

Hank's royal pain of an ending

The Royal Pains series finale was exactly that, and it left me with just one thing to say: put your hands down again, patriots.

 

I take it all back. I saluted USA too soon. All hands on hips.

 

“At ease” is the official command for ceasing military gestures, sure, but the last minute of the last episode of Royal Pains, un-ease bordering on dis-ease was my dominant feeling. The unofficial gesture I made in reaction only needed one finger, not four.

 

SMH. I must have been an idiot, hailing a television network as a leader in diversity in its depictions of my fellow Americans: Single people.

 

Nope, USA Network, the writers, the producers, whoever, just could not resist a trip to Cliché Island.

 

They did what Hollywood always does: substitute societal expectations for creativity. Instead of depicting Dr. Hank Lawson as the happy man on his own he proclaimed himself to be just a week earlier, they caved in to cultural biases, or just gave up trying, and settled for a biased, boring finale.

 

Which means they made Hank settle, too.  They tied up his story by tying him down. Who saw that coming? To be honest, not me.

USA, I Salute You

fireworks USA flag

USA, I salute you.

 

My fellow single Americans, join me.

 

Salute Royal Pains.

 

Because they let Hank be Hank. And Hank is single.

29 Things I Did Not Do Last Weekend

Feet up relaxing

Screw the To Do List.

 

That’s my motto, or it would be if I made To Do Lists. Because guess what:

 

To Do Lists are not legally binding.

 

However, they are enforceable.

 

Just ask any woman who has another adult living under her roof. Especially a life partner. Non-performance may result in evil stares, passive aggressive grunts or under-the-breath invective spewing.

 

Should her other head-of-household remain out of compliance with To Do obligations- obligations which are literally spelled out in black and white –his or her personal property is at risk of destruction, and divorce becomes a distinct possibility.

 

That my friends, is why living alone is the best.

 

The B.E.S.T best.

What’s it like to be Single At THIS Age? Hint: it doesn’t suck

Single at this age

What’s it like to be single at this age?

 

Even for someone who writes and reads and thinks about single* life in America, this is a tough question to answer.

 

Not because of my age, or yours. Because, regardless of age, the question I actually end up answering is, what is it like not to be married?

 

And that, my friends, drives me BAT. SHIT. CRAZY.

Single Women are Families, Too

Boxer dog breed looking through the hole in a wall

Rocky the Boxer has a new picture perfect family.   Which sucks for Rocky.   Rocky was surrendered to a shelter by his first family because “they did not have time for an energetic dog like him.”   Apparently this family is a family of Luddites who don’t know about Google; a little bit of research on the breed would have saved everyone involved heartache and aggravation.   Dogtime gives Boxers Five Stars for Energy Level, Intensity, Exercise Needs and Potential for Playfulness. Five equals the MOST. Not good if you don’t have time.   So, I guess as sad and irresponsible as it is to get and then give up a dog, at least Rocky had a second chance at finding a lifetime of love and special attention.   That is,...

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